True Customer Tales

skinny, nervous guy in leather jacket at least two sizes too big almost runs up to the counter and stares at me, twitching.

Guy (growl/whispering, like Dirty Harry quizzing a hooligan): "Kinkos. Where IS it."
Me: *gives directions*
Guy, triumphantly: AHA. So......they MOVED.
Me: "Uh, yeah.....like five years ago."
Guy, desperately: IS THERE ANYWHERE CLOSER I CAN SEND A FAX FROM?
Me: Not that I know of, sorry.
Guy: Well...THANKS for the DIRECTIONS.
Me: Good luck out there!


I half expected him to bust out I'M BATMAN as his exit line.

an infrequent digression into things political

I was happy that, in this season of America's discontent, Cali maintained its sanity and failed to export any wild eyed anarchists to Washington.

Other states did not fare as well.

And the party’s advisers on health care policy say it is being discussed more seriously than ever, though they admit it may be as much a huge in-your-face to Washington as anything else.

Its tempting to laugh at such juvenile playground posturing masquerading as political philosophy. Only my certainty that Texas's Medicaid recipients need the help every bit as desperately as California's stay my guffaws.

True Customer Tales

beardy guy with faraway eyes and a couple of young girls who've drawn all over their bare legs with colored markers, tipping a cup of frozen confection at me: Is Gelato okay?

me: Sure.

guy, seemingly genuinely concerned: you're not allergic or anything?

me: Nope!

guy: Uh...I don't know how to say this....I'm looking for a version of the Bagavadghita thats, umm....easier to read?

me: *expressionlessly points way to Eastern Philosophy*

TCT: Bag Edition

A classic today.

me: can I get you a bag?

Older dressed up gal: Oh, well, hmmmm.....I guess, but only because it's raining.




punch line: it's not raining.

true customer tales

not obviously crazy lady: do you guy sell candy?

me: Nope.

NOCL: Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgh! But THEN you could yell at the kids on the street, "want some CANDY!"

Me: Oh well, another missed opportunity!

true

crazy lady eyeing the sale cart muttering to herself-

It's cause they think I'm JEWISH Jewish, they don't know I'm Celtic Jewish, which is a totally different thing. I know all the fucking shit they did!"

Spooktacular

Amazing party thrown by Neil and Patty, as always.
My highlight was boogieing down to Flashlight with the Fiend.
Best solo costume, Tippi Hedren circa The Birds, complete with a phalanx of attacking stuffed crows and movie soundtrack in the pocket of her fur.
Best group costume, the Funk boys who were all rocking the Risky Business white shirt and socks look.

Pix forthcoming.