I see a guy every couple of weekend who falls into the Not Obviously Crazy Crazy Person category. He's always clean and well groomed, favors white shirts and tweed jackets and passes casual inspection as some flavor of academic.
Until he sits around for 4 hours, brings two books to the counter and you have an interaction like this.
me (ringing up a $5 and a $9.50 sale): That'll be $15.23.
guy (digging through pockets and wallet, coming up empty): Uh....uh....uh.....uh....can I just get this one then?
me (voiding sale, re-ringing $5 book): That'll be $5.36.
guy (repeating previous pantomime, with identical results): Uh, I can't get this one either.
me (voiding sale): Okay.
So he wanders out the door and I'm ringing up next customer when he comes back in.
Guy, loudly: OH CAN YOU PUT BACK THOSE BOOKS OVER THERE FOR ME? THANKS!
An odd bird.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Old Media Fail
Things periodically appear on the Roku start screen, things I mostly ignore.
UFC on pay per view! Avatar on demand!
Blah, blah, blah.
Netflix streaming and Pandora are the twin pincers Roku wields to secure its place in our hearts and it needs no others.
But the other day Hulu Plus showed up, and not knowing much about Hulu other than it's what the Burl uses to stay current with 30 Rock I thought I'd check it out. If did the Netflix thing only for teevee, that would be pretty cool.
$7.99 a month, a buck more than my bare bones Netflix account.
Selection looks pretty good, lots of current stuff and a bunch of old shows that might be worth a look.
Oh wait....they show ads?
DEALBREAKER!
It's kinda like when the music dudes thought the solution to piracy was offering lossy DRM riddled MP3s that were hobbled by all sorts of restrictions. Look guys, I use the internet to AVOID those sorts of headaches, I'm sure as hell not gonna pay you to deliver them to my living room.
The Fuss watches more teevee than I'd like him too, given an appropriately Utopian universe to inhabit. But as we're stuck in this one, I take solace in the fact that at least he doesn't get any targeted advertising hammered incessantly into his infant hindbrain. It's bad enough he can spot Spongebob merch halfway across the store, but at least that attraction has grown somewhat organically from his enjoyment of the show.
The Wife, Burl and Fiend stayed in a hotel with cable once when Fiend was about 4.
A commercial for McDonald's came on and Fiend said "Oh look mommy, a funny clown!"
Given the society we have, advertising is inescapable without a lot of draconian measures I'm unwilling to contemplate. But I draw what lines I can, and broadcast advertising in the living room is one of them.
UFC on pay per view! Avatar on demand!
Blah, blah, blah.
Netflix streaming and Pandora are the twin pincers Roku wields to secure its place in our hearts and it needs no others.
But the other day Hulu Plus showed up, and not knowing much about Hulu other than it's what the Burl uses to stay current with 30 Rock I thought I'd check it out. If did the Netflix thing only for teevee, that would be pretty cool.
$7.99 a month, a buck more than my bare bones Netflix account.
Selection looks pretty good, lots of current stuff and a bunch of old shows that might be worth a look.
Oh wait....they show ads?
DEALBREAKER!
It's kinda like when the music dudes thought the solution to piracy was offering lossy DRM riddled MP3s that were hobbled by all sorts of restrictions. Look guys, I use the internet to AVOID those sorts of headaches, I'm sure as hell not gonna pay you to deliver them to my living room.
The Fuss watches more teevee than I'd like him too, given an appropriately Utopian universe to inhabit. But as we're stuck in this one, I take solace in the fact that at least he doesn't get any targeted advertising hammered incessantly into his infant hindbrain. It's bad enough he can spot Spongebob merch halfway across the store, but at least that attraction has grown somewhat organically from his enjoyment of the show.
The Wife, Burl and Fiend stayed in a hotel with cable once when Fiend was about 4.
A commercial for McDonald's came on and Fiend said "Oh look mommy, a funny clown!"
Given the society we have, advertising is inescapable without a lot of draconian measures I'm unwilling to contemplate. But I draw what lines I can, and broadcast advertising in the living room is one of them.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
true customer tales
teenage girl and her grandfather consider a James Dean calendar.
girl: JAMES DEAN!
gramps: Do you know how many movies he made?
girl: I WAS WHERE HE DIED!
gramps: Eh?
girl: I WAS WHERE HE DIED!
gramps: Heh heh...I drive past it every day!
girl: JAMES DEAN!
gramps: Do you know how many movies he made?
girl: I WAS WHERE HE DIED!
gramps: Eh?
girl: I WAS WHERE HE DIED!
gramps: Heh heh...I drive past it every day!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
true customer tales
*skinny guy in bike shorts comes up with two books, The Crossing by Cormac McCarthy and The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King*
Guy: Uh hey, which of these books should I get?
Me: Depends on what you want.
Guy, puzzled: Well I'm not sure what I want.
Me, noncommittally: MMmmm.
*guy ponders, weighing a book in each hand and sighing loudly*
Guy: Well, this one's bigger (holding up The Drawing of the Three)....I guess I'll get this one!
Me: A fine choice.
Guy: Uh hey, which of these books should I get?
Me: Depends on what you want.
Guy, puzzled: Well I'm not sure what I want.
Me, noncommittally: MMmmm.
*guy ponders, weighing a book in each hand and sighing loudly*
Guy: Well, this one's bigger (holding up The Drawing of the Three)....I guess I'll get this one!
Me: A fine choice.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
true customer tales
Two nerdgirls consider our calendars.
#1: Hey they have a UFC calendar.
#2: OH MY GOD, UFC! UFC! UFC!
#1: What, do you like pictures of guys looking really really angry or something?
#2: No...but they get in funny positions and it makes me laugh!
#1: ....these guys are totally RIPPED!
#1: Hey they have a UFC calendar.
#2: OH MY GOD, UFC! UFC! UFC!
#1: What, do you like pictures of guys looking really really angry or something?
#2: No...but they get in funny positions and it makes me laugh!
#1: ....these guys are totally RIPPED!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Title of the Year?
OPERATION VAMPIRE KILLER 2000: American Police Action Plan for Stopping World Government Rule
Bonus!
Published By:
POLICE AGAINST THE NEW WORLD ORDER
Let's see...here's a chapter with three subheadings!
Oh and also
It's almost like they foretold the election of the socialist monster Obama!
Bonus!
Published By:
POLICE AGAINST THE NEW WORLD ORDER
Let's see...here's a chapter with three subheadings!
Traitors' Grand Finales
A) Race War
B) Ecological Collapse
C) Visitors from Afar?
Oh and also
COMMUNISM GONE? - DON'T TAKE ANY BETS!
It's almost like they foretold the election of the socialist monster Obama!
lame cover of the week
From an RPG supplement called The Master's Decree.
Yes, that appears to be a sleestack stealing a pie from a farmer.
Compare if you will to a classic of the genre from my youth, The Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth.
Now, assuming you have a chinless dice geek secreted somewhere in your heart of hearts, which dire opponent would you rather test your mettle against; reptilian pie thief or lighting vomiting dragon?
(that's a rhetorical question)
Yes, that appears to be a sleestack stealing a pie from a farmer.
Compare if you will to a classic of the genre from my youth, The Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth.
Now, assuming you have a chinless dice geek secreted somewhere in your heart of hearts, which dire opponent would you rather test your mettle against; reptilian pie thief or lighting vomiting dragon?
(that's a rhetorical question)
Monday, November 8, 2010
True Customer Tales
skinny, nervous guy in leather jacket at least two sizes too big almost runs up to the counter and stares at me, twitching.
Guy (growl/whispering, like Dirty Harry quizzing a hooligan): "Kinkos. Where IS it."
Me: *gives directions*
Guy, triumphantly: AHA. So......they MOVED.
Me: "Uh, yeah.....like five years ago."
Guy, desperately: IS THERE ANYWHERE CLOSER I CAN SEND A FAX FROM?
Me: Not that I know of, sorry.
Guy: Well...THANKS for the DIRECTIONS.
Me: Good luck out there!
I half expected him to bust out I'M BATMAN as his exit line.
Guy (growl/whispering, like Dirty Harry quizzing a hooligan): "Kinkos. Where IS it."
Me: *gives directions*
Guy, triumphantly: AHA. So......they MOVED.
Me: "Uh, yeah.....like five years ago."
Guy, desperately: IS THERE ANYWHERE CLOSER I CAN SEND A FAX FROM?
Me: Not that I know of, sorry.
Guy: Well...THANKS for the DIRECTIONS.
Me: Good luck out there!
I half expected him to bust out I'M BATMAN as his exit line.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
an infrequent digression into things political
I was happy that, in this season of America's discontent, Cali maintained its sanity and failed to export any wild eyed anarchists to Washington.
Other states did not fare as well.
Its tempting to laugh at such juvenile playground posturing masquerading as political philosophy. Only my certainty that Texas's Medicaid recipients need the help every bit as desperately as California's stay my guffaws.
Other states did not fare as well.
And the party’s advisers on health care policy say it is being discussed more seriously than ever, though they admit it may be as much a huge in-your-face to Washington as anything else.
Its tempting to laugh at such juvenile playground posturing masquerading as political philosophy. Only my certainty that Texas's Medicaid recipients need the help every bit as desperately as California's stay my guffaws.
True Customer Tales
beardy guy with faraway eyes and a couple of young girls who've drawn all over their bare legs with colored markers, tipping a cup of frozen confection at me: Is Gelato okay?
me: Sure.
guy, seemingly genuinely concerned: you're not allergic or anything?
me: Nope!
guy: Uh...I don't know how to say this....I'm looking for a version of the Bagavadghita thats, umm....easier to read?
me: *expressionlessly points way to Eastern Philosophy*
me: Sure.
guy, seemingly genuinely concerned: you're not allergic or anything?
me: Nope!
guy: Uh...I don't know how to say this....I'm looking for a version of the Bagavadghita thats, umm....easier to read?
me: *expressionlessly points way to Eastern Philosophy*
TCT: Bag Edition
A classic today.
me: can I get you a bag?
Older dressed up gal: Oh, well, hmmmm.....I guess, but only because it's raining.
punch line: it's not raining.
me: can I get you a bag?
Older dressed up gal: Oh, well, hmmmm.....I guess, but only because it's raining.
punch line: it's not raining.
true customer tales
not obviously crazy lady: do you guy sell candy?
me: Nope.
NOCL: Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgh! But THEN you could yell at the kids on the street, "want some CANDY!"
Me: Oh well, another missed opportunity!
me: Nope.
NOCL: Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgh! But THEN you could yell at the kids on the street, "want some CANDY!"
Me: Oh well, another missed opportunity!
true
crazy lady eyeing the sale cart muttering to herself-
It's cause they think I'm JEWISH Jewish, they don't know I'm Celtic Jewish, which is a totally different thing. I know all the fucking shit they did!"
Monday, November 1, 2010
Spooktacular
Amazing party thrown by Neil and Patty, as always.
My highlight was boogieing down to Flashlight with the Fiend.
Best solo costume, Tippi Hedren circa The Birds, complete with a phalanx of attacking stuffed crows and movie soundtrack in the pocket of her fur.
Best group costume, the Funk boys who were all rocking the Risky Business white shirt and socks look.
Pix forthcoming.
My highlight was boogieing down to Flashlight with the Fiend.
Best solo costume, Tippi Hedren circa The Birds, complete with a phalanx of attacking stuffed crows and movie soundtrack in the pocket of her fur.
Best group costume, the Funk boys who were all rocking the Risky Business white shirt and socks look.
Pix forthcoming.
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