On the day when too many people take the opportunity to fetishize the military rather than reflect soberly on the idiocy of sending troops off to die in pointless, doomed conflicts I'm here to whine about the absolutely trivial and meaningless.
As this has been the week of enumerating my least favorite customer interactions, here's a few more for the pile.
The person who comes in with NO IDEA what they want, who has no favorite authors or subjects, who can't remember what they read last, a veritable literary blank slate that you are supposed to psychically intuit desire from.
These types actually used to bother me much more before I started following the Burl's advice from her own long ago days running the Earthling- "I would just grab the nearest book from the shelf of best sellers and hand it to them".
Which makes perfect sense, they've put no energy into the interaction so why should you?
Today's other winner was the guy looking for Heinlein's Starship Troopers, who I led to the section inspiring the comment "Oh, I already looked here, where else would it be?"
Uh, nowhere, because this is where it belongs?
Maybe some bookstores have a big, secret room full of salable books they're hiding away from customers, but frankly I've never seen one.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
variation on a theme
Another constant at the store are callers who want you to tell them how much you'll pay for their books. As the intricacies of the trade require a physical inspection, this isn't something we do. It's a simple concept and most people get the point, but as with folk who're sure the book doesn't belong in the section you point out some people always know better.
caller: Hi, I have these books, and I was wondering what you guys pay?
me: we're happy to look at books any day before 4, bring them in and we'll see what we can work out.
caller: Well, I just need to know how much you pay.
me: I need to see the books, we don't do phone estimates.
caller: Well, I've got the authors and everything.
me: I still need to see the books.
caller: Well, I live in Paso and that's a long drive.
me: That's unfortunate, but we don't give estimates over the phone.
caller: But they're in great shape and everything!
me: We still need to see the books so we can reach our own conclusions.
caller, snippily: well okay then, I'll just keep them!
me: okay, have a nice day.
The actual conversation went on quite a bit longer, but that's the gist of it. I get a similar call probably once a week, and they always play out in more or less the same way.
caller: Hi, I have these books, and I was wondering what you guys pay?
me: we're happy to look at books any day before 4, bring them in and we'll see what we can work out.
caller: Well, I just need to know how much you pay.
me: I need to see the books, we don't do phone estimates.
caller: Well, I've got the authors and everything.
me: I still need to see the books.
caller: Well, I live in Paso and that's a long drive.
me: That's unfortunate, but we don't give estimates over the phone.
caller: But they're in great shape and everything!
me: We still need to see the books so we can reach our own conclusions.
caller, snippily: well okay then, I'll just keep them!
me: okay, have a nice day.
The actual conversation went on quite a bit longer, but that's the gist of it. I get a similar call probably once a week, and they always play out in more or less the same way.
Friday, May 28, 2010
morning conversation
the wife: where are my napkins?
me: I put 'em on the table by the plates.
the wife, rummaging around fruitlessly: they're not here.
me: oh, look under the toaster, I might have put the toaster on them.
the wife: here they are...why is the toaster on the table?
me: it was in my way. *pause* I didn't want the crock pot by the edge of the counter because then the little man might pull it over on himself, blah blah blah blah blah blah.
the wife: blah, blah blah.
me: *grunts*
the wife: oh great, now I can't find my TEA.
me, looking around: Here it is, I found it.
the wife: too late, now I have to poop.
me: Well, it's on the table.
the wife: Okay!
the little man, running into the kitchen: PENCIL!
me: I put 'em on the table by the plates.
the wife, rummaging around fruitlessly: they're not here.
me: oh, look under the toaster, I might have put the toaster on them.
the wife: here they are...why is the toaster on the table?
me: it was in my way. *pause* I didn't want the crock pot by the edge of the counter because then the little man might pull it over on himself, blah blah blah blah blah blah.
the wife: blah, blah blah.
me: *grunts*
the wife: oh great, now I can't find my TEA.
me, looking around: Here it is, I found it.
the wife: too late, now I have to poop.
me: Well, it's on the table.
the wife: Okay!
the little man, running into the kitchen: PENCIL!
Monday, May 24, 2010
true customer tales
It's been a while!
There's a certain type of customer who's sure they know better than you where to find the book they're after. I'm not sure why they bother asking, but they do. This gal was looking for a botany book, but it could have been anything- the conversation is archetypal.
her: I'm looking for this botany book?
me: We'd file it back here in Natural History against the back wall *leads the way*
her concerned: Uh oh, this looks like GARDENING.
me: yes, any botany or horticulture books we get are filed in gardening.
her: Well, what if it was more about how plants affected PEOPLE?
me: We'd file it back here in gardening.
her: well, but what if it was more HISTORY, like how plants affected history?
me: Anything related to botany would end up here in gardening.
her: Really? But what if...
me: Anything about plants would end up here. This is where we file books on or about plants.
her: But...
*sigh*
There's a certain type of customer who's sure they know better than you where to find the book they're after. I'm not sure why they bother asking, but they do. This gal was looking for a botany book, but it could have been anything- the conversation is archetypal.
her: I'm looking for this botany book?
me: We'd file it back here in Natural History against the back wall *leads the way*
her concerned: Uh oh, this looks like GARDENING.
me: yes, any botany or horticulture books we get are filed in gardening.
her: Well, what if it was more about how plants affected PEOPLE?
me: We'd file it back here in gardening.
her: well, but what if it was more HISTORY, like how plants affected history?
me: Anything related to botany would end up here in gardening.
her: Really? But what if...
me: Anything about plants would end up here. This is where we file books on or about plants.
her: But...
*sigh*
Sunday, May 23, 2010
example
Poking around for a circular saw, found this one on Amazon.
Wow, 54% off! I save $140 bucks! Awesome!
Well, except that when you hit Google you discover that *everyone* is selling it for the "sale" price, with some minor variations either way (Home Depot is asking $125, for example).
But the 'list price' is a complete fiction.
Wow, 54% off! I save $140 bucks! Awesome!
Well, except that when you hit Google you discover that *everyone* is selling it for the "sale" price, with some minor variations either way (Home Depot is asking $125, for example).
But the 'list price' is a complete fiction.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
something I've noticed
while shopping online...well, and most places really.
The expanding habit of retailers making up some ridiculous number purely so they can "slash" it and promote the "sale" price, which is just what the thing costs and not any sort of sale at all.
Amazon's housewares section is particularly egregious, regularly pretending that the list price of an item is half again the actual amount so they can brag about their markdown.
Brick and mortar stores do the same thing though- before they went bankrupt Mervyn's entire store was perpetually marked down from ludicrous made up numbers they got by someone mashing their face on the keypad.
Yeah, sure, everyone loves a sale. And yeah, sure, you can mislead people into thinking they're getting a "deal" by pretending the list price is a lot higher than it actually is. But big picture, it undermines the trust of the buying public. Which isn't a bad thing- skepticism & capitalism should go hand in hand. I just don't get why a business would think misleading their customers as a matter of course would be a good idea.
The expanding habit of retailers making up some ridiculous number purely so they can "slash" it and promote the "sale" price, which is just what the thing costs and not any sort of sale at all.
Amazon's housewares section is particularly egregious, regularly pretending that the list price of an item is half again the actual amount so they can brag about their markdown.
Brick and mortar stores do the same thing though- before they went bankrupt Mervyn's entire store was perpetually marked down from ludicrous made up numbers they got by someone mashing their face on the keypad.
Yeah, sure, everyone loves a sale. And yeah, sure, you can mislead people into thinking they're getting a "deal" by pretending the list price is a lot higher than it actually is. But big picture, it undermines the trust of the buying public. Which isn't a bad thing- skepticism & capitalism should go hand in hand. I just don't get why a business would think misleading their customers as a matter of course would be a good idea.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
sign o' the times
Just flipped past the TV Guide channel.
They declared their creed at the start of whatever advertainment skit was about to run in the little window above the channel crawl-
EAT. SLEEP. WATCH.
The very next graphic,
sponsored by Weight Watchers.
Gotta love capitalist symbiosis.
They declared their creed at the start of whatever advertainment skit was about to run in the little window above the channel crawl-
EAT. SLEEP. WATCH.
The very next graphic,
sponsored by Weight Watchers.
Gotta love capitalist symbiosis.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
on sublimity
Several years ago we embarked on a tour of the Continent for our (long delayed) honeymoon. The wife being the wife, we shlepped through nearly every notable museum in Holland and Paris (save the Musée Rodin) and even took an art excursion in Düsseldorf.
After returning home the question arose- what was the most amazing thing we saw on our trip? We both named this painting by Leonardo Da Vinci:
.jpg)
It's about the size of a salad plate, painted on a plank of not particularly fine grained wood. Reproductions never do paintings justice but this one is particularly ill served, a 40 watt bulb playing at being the sun. 'Luminous' is one of the most gratuitously abused descriptors of the past decade, but wholly appropriate here. Her face hangs shining in space, untethered from this mortal coil by the profound insight of artistic genius.
Apropos of the above paragraphs, I give you The Fuss in repose.
After returning home the question arose- what was the most amazing thing we saw on our trip? We both named this painting by Leonardo Da Vinci:
.jpg)
It's about the size of a salad plate, painted on a plank of not particularly fine grained wood. Reproductions never do paintings justice but this one is particularly ill served, a 40 watt bulb playing at being the sun. 'Luminous' is one of the most gratuitously abused descriptors of the past decade, but wholly appropriate here. Her face hangs shining in space, untethered from this mortal coil by the profound insight of artistic genius.
Apropos of the above paragraphs, I give you The Fuss in repose.
depressing
It always sucks when people who clearly need money bring in shitty books I cannot in good conscience buy, then stand there staring at me in mute confusion when I turn them down.
It also sucks when some friends of a casual FB friend brag about how well behaved their children are after a lifetime of being spanked, and how upset they are by "ill behaved" children who are encouraged to act out because their parents won't hit them.
Does it not occur to them that children won't always be defenseless and dependent and are likely at some future point to hold you to account for your actions?
It's no wonder so many families are labyrinths of resentment and hatred.
It also sucks when some friends of a casual FB friend brag about how well behaved their children are after a lifetime of being spanked, and how upset they are by "ill behaved" children who are encouraged to act out because their parents won't hit them.
Does it not occur to them that children won't always be defenseless and dependent and are likely at some future point to hold you to account for your actions?
It's no wonder so many families are labyrinths of resentment and hatred.
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