Photolosophy

I was running through the xmas pics I posted down below, and I keep coming back to this one, with the Fiend watching (& mirrorring) mom's reaction to her gift.

Kids are always watching, always learning.
They respond to what you are, not what you say.

cars + windows

I can't be the only one who sees disaster looming here.

The new technology -- dubbed "Sync" -- will finally bring together two industries that have long been expected to cross paths, allowing consumers to use their vehicles as computers in key ways, such as hands-free cell phone calls or downloading music or receiving e-mail.

I admit to being outside the telecommunications mainstream (this is my cell phone, fer chrissakes) but...isn't that functionalty already covered by plenty of other gadgets (iPods, etc). And even my ultra-ghetto cell phone has a hands-free solution right there on its homepage.

So who the fuck thinks MORE distractions in the car is a direction we need to go?

Why, Bill Gates and Bill Ford!

Ford and Gates said that having high-definition screens in vehicles, speech recognition, cameras, digital calendars and navigation equipment with directions and road conditions will set car companies apart from their competitors in the future.

"There are going to be those who have it and those who don't. And even those who get it later are going to be a generation behind," Ford said.

Ford praised the way the industries were working together, saying engineers were bringing new ideas forward "faster than we can assimilate" them.

Save me, Joe Louis....

Happy New Year's

Everyone have a good New Year's Eve and make it home safe.

The wife has tricked me into attending not one but two parties.

Hopefully she is even now preparing to cater to my voluminous morning-after needs,training at a snowy mountaintop dojo under the watchful eye of a sensei with a wispy white beard that brushes the floor and a liberal hand with his walking stick/quarterstaff.

Following my hoarsely whispered commands to the letter while I lie prostrate in the semi-darkness*, soothing my self-inflicted mental wounds with the coloful visual balm of Bowl Games is no task for the unprepared, undertrained or faint of heart.


*think Fat Brando in his caftan from the Apocalypse Now outtakes.

bum wines

I can't remember if I've already linked this, or just sent it out via email.

Better safe than sorry!

Rhretorical Question

Q: How do you follow up a family therapy session to strategize wrangling your unmedicated bi-polar mother-in-law?

A: Make a bunch of BLT's and watch Shaolin Soccer with your niece, the world's awesomest child.

Holiday Report

Giant Christmas Photo Storm.



Courtesy of Bobo, a living testament to the efficacy of Trickle Down Economics.

Merry Holidays!

to all the teeming multitudes of my vast audience yearning to read free.
posting will probably remain light-to-nonexistent until after New Years, but here are some hawt linkz to tide y'all over.

GIANT SQUID!

ELF ATTACK!

MOST DANGEROUS ROADS IN THE WORLD!

ESSENTIAL FREEWARE!

touching base

real conversations with real crazy people, thanks to the miracle of working retail at Christmas!

guy stomps in with an unravelling sleeping bag under one arm.
Goes next door, digs through a pile of books under my watchful eye.
Leaps to his feet suddenly, screeching "EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" into the ether of the completely empty store.

Thankfully, he had enough awareness to stomp back out the door before I had to escort him.

Then there was the nut at the theater who thought he was Jesus Christ, and proclaimed that he had been "saved by Tiger Woods!", or that he was Tiger Woods, it wasn't entirely clear (query to the staff: "Am I white? Am I black? I can't tell!")

He wore out his welcome by screaming "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!" at a bystanding old woman who reacted to his declaration "I am Jesus Christ" with "Well, I don't care!"

And I had a round gal in a bicycle helmet in yesterday who browsed the art books for a while, then came up and asked me "do you have any books that tell what it means when a man shows you a pair of socks in your house?", which took me a while to process.

"What, you mean like Emily Post or something?" I eventually responded.

"No, I just want to know what it means when a man is in your house and shows you a pair of socks. Because there was a man who came over to my house, and then he pulled a pair of socks out of his pocket and showed them to me, and then put them back in his pocket."

"Huh. Ya know, I don't think we have any books like that. You might want to try the reference desk at the library."

And, dear reader, I felt not one pang of guilt for passing the buck.

Holiday (semi) Hiatus

As you've noticed posts have been few and far between lately.
Holidays are busy, dammit!

So here's some content to tide you over, an apology for laziness and a warning that the laziness will likely continue into the new year, all in one.

A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals!
(that is the original headline of the linked article- apparently they decided to change it after 24 hours of non-stop mockery by the internet hive mind...too bad, really. They were on to something with the original...like when they changed the title of Avenging Disco Godfather to plain jane'Avenging Godfather'. Wear it like a crown, damn you!)

world's greatest USB drive.
Courtesy of the Japanese, the greatest people on earth.

Peter Boyle, RIP

dig the holiday banner

if'n you don't see it, try a ctrl-reload.

dum blogger.

77 design gifts under $77

there's some very cool stuff on this list.

human-powered shredder!


bannana phone!


grey rubik's cube!

Holiday Post

I think I put this up last xmas.....but they've added new pics!
all the justification I need for recycling a post.

clicky clicky

Attn Bobo

Tivo encryption cracked.

the technical details

the New Year approaches

and with it the inevitable flood of Best Album of 2006 lists.

I'll throw my hat into the ring after the xmas rush.
In the meantime, I'll comment on those lists.

Any list including those talentless poseurs The Killers is worthless.
Q, whatever it is, should go drink toilet water to atone for this sin.

I like the new Tom Waits super-collection, but c'mon, it's basically loose ends swept together from his musical attic. Fascinating and with some classics cuts, yes. Best of the year? Nawp.

I can't stand Joanna Newsome's Yoko Ono-esque vocal stylings, I don't care how avante her garde is. I'm too old to listen to music by people who can't sing...unless they're Lemmy from Motorhead.

I can see why people like Arctic Monkeys, but I seem to have lost my taste for their style of straight-ahead pop/rock.

Serena Maneesh and Neko Case are both locks for my best of the year list, along with TV on the Radio (although I'm not as keen on the new on as their previous two releases).

Marilyn Manson, feh

and a shocking Behind the Music follow up on the Muppet Show Band:



(yah I'm behind the curve, I just discovered Robot Chicken...so sue me.)

overheard

From one of our local mentally ill street people:

"I've kinda made a commitment to myself to stop watching R-rated movies. Too much sex, too much violence. I'll wait out here."

Highbrow Literature

Bad Sex Writing Award

Higlighting the worst sex scenes in novels of otherwise high literary value.

I'm of the opinion that novelists are best served by a demure 'fade to black' once the action shifts from the metaphorical to the biological.

Unless, of course, your goal is spectacular unintended comedy.

war photographer

A decidedly non-traditional one.

The photos are great, but the interview is equally interesting.

BLDGBLOG: How does working outside of photojournalism, and even outside the art world, affect the actual practicality of getting into these places – photographing war zones and ruins and so on? You weren’t an embedded photographer in Iraq?

Norfolk: No, no. I was just kind of winging it.

You know, the camera I use is made of wood – it's a 4x5 field camera, made of mahogany and brass – and it looks like an antique. Part of what I do is I make sure I don't look very serious – it's best to look like a harmless dickhead, really, so no one bothers you. You look like a nutter. And, to be honest, I play that up: I've got the bald head, and the Hawaiian shirt, and, to look at the image on the back of the camera, you have to put a blanket over your head and go in there with a magnifying glass, and it’s always on a tripod.

So I have two choices: I can either do these images from a speeding car, or I can stand there with a blanket over my head, and look like such a prick that somebody's going to find me through their rifle scope and think: Oh! What's that? Let's go down and have a look... I can’t believe that photographers go into war zones dressed like soldiers! Soldiers are the people they shoot at. If I could wear a clown suit I would do it – if I could wear the big shoes and everything. I would wear the whole fucking thing.

I think there's a lot to be said for that, actually, because I can either scrape in there on my belly, wearing camo, and sneak around; or I can stand right there in front, wearing a shirt that says, you know, Don't shoot me. I’m a dick.

musical nostalgia

I had this 45 back in the day.



Nile Rogers was dreamy.